the opinionation

christmas is cancelled

Hello Plebs,

It is with a heavy heart I report to you that Christmas this year has been cancelled - or to be more specific - made redundant.

It appears that the latest financial "crisis" has claimed yet another victim. Unfortunately due the inability to secure a business loan Santa's work shop has gone under.

It must be said that Santa didn't go down without a fight. In a last ditch effort to save his fledging business Santa sacrificed five his his flying mammalian friends to try and sell their magic meat on the market.

Below are some images of Saint Nick doing his part to save our beloved holiday.

"c'mon Prancer"

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"...mmmm...Vixen..."

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Yes, it is a sad thing indeed. And to make matters worse only one person actually showed up to his product launch:

evil incarnate

It is also terrible news that Santa will be forced to move out of the North Pole as he simply cannot afford the combination of land rates and global warming. Alas, with his now non-existent income his remaining reindeer cannot join him in what we here at the opinionation hope to be the golden years of Santa's life.

...the feed is laced with cyanide

In some possibly positive news regarding the closure of Santa's workshop there are now an influx of dwarfs flooding the streets of Hollywood looking for work which means three things:

1. We may see a Willy Wonka film with more than just one god-damn Ompa Lompa digitally copied many times.
2. James Bond may actually have a formidable foe in the next instalment of the series.
3. Remakes of all Weng Weng films

So Subscripts, please spare a thought this Holiday(less) season for those less fortunate... and...shit.

-db

PS. Please note that I resisted the urge to make a joke about children yearning for Santa's sack and managed to make a joke about Palin well after her career died. DANE BRADDY FTW!